❄

Lethargy you are !!
Fed up already?
It's just nineteen, and six more to go
Why hesitation to receive 'air'?
Is it necessary to kill yourself?
It's ok, if u stay hard,
But, why stepping over the pump?
When you compress the smooth running,
Your lazy,insolent approach-
Cut off the flow of life to other cells-
And you breakout pressure,
Interior flow to exterior, when
It's hard to breath, again blocking
The nasal with pressure flow.
Each time I try to cool you down,
You, short my journey plans.
Its true that you gave me chance,
But, only when the Reddish eyes visual-
Blurs,
I see the green in green....

#deep_breath
#closer9_life
#beautiful_moments
#sunset

-On 18th February 2017-

Flowers of proud
Showered and beribbond,
Salty sweat sweetened
It was a fine evening indeed,
Till the leterite tied
The beat to wharf, and
Pulling to the deep depths,
Frozen arms shivering legs,
The rhythm of heart
Clashed with notations-clot,
Gusto maestro slump,
Ashamed, throat lump.
Still baring the burns
With itches and rashes.
Flowers down branch
Still curves down a bunch.
Cursing this life questioning,
"What takes you long
To take me home..!!?"
Still hear the silent hum...

#proud #ashamed #love #hate
#capo #team_love
#pathetic_shits

ഒരുപാട് സ്വപ്നങ്ങൾ എന്നോടൊപ്പം ചിതയിലെരിയട്ടെ!
നിശബ്ദത ഒരുതരം അലർച്ചയാണ്...

After a Long time, Under the shades

pic: VadakkumNadhan Temple, Kerala, India

When sometimes things go crazy, or sh*t happens, I use to take a long ride to set everything clear, just to chill out, to make mind clear. If riding is not possible my next  the best place for such a relief is here at VadakkumNadhan temple compound.  Being in this shade here , center of a busy city, some how i feel peaceful.  There is a rush in the city, dust and crowd. The scream of machine creatures, speech filled air and from all these, your mind adjust itself to hear your inner voice and popup mind than  anything around. After a long, today noon, i went there staring at the front door (Gopuram) of the temple for a while, Then my vision focused to the leaves of the Banyan tree. At that moment I just remember taking the pictures of leaves,which my brother loved to see all the time. He loved watching leaves on trees, the veins of leaf which i first saw these crazy love for leaves, which he mentioned last year this same day.  The time he shared with me about the veins of a leaf, i was actually thinking about some blood line. He is not from my Family, but now he is my family. Blood line is not only the factor deciding family, but also where ever there is people you love, and people who loves you , that's family. When he first came to my life just like an intruder, at that first moment itself i knew he will be my best buddy, my best brother. Things gone a little creepy some where but still the bond never brakes. Today after all these days which i never turned to here, but something or some good old memory draw me here. I ain't know these all just came from that leaves and veins, but how far you are, how long it would take , I'm just here for ya. For the sake of good old moments.

#blood_n_vein    #Leaf_love  #Brotherhood

Midnight Rain

Yesterday night, the midnight rain sprayed  showered with the insane laughter of cluster clouds splashed the lightning sword, cut my deep sleep in to  a hasty awake... It's been days i had waited for the sprays , light touch , smooth kiss of nature... Always, rain is one my heart felt feeling, in joy, sorrow, broken, confused states, feeling the rain gives this burn a little shelter.

These days, things got out of my hands, things which I'm responsible of... You know, i give more important to some people which i consider them equal to my blood, and some time the intimacy paved way for certain heart braking incidence... 

I have friends who are  like two faces of a coin to me. They were like a family , like that i cared as much as i can, and try doing what actually a friend needed to do. But things went out of hand, things which i had done for reasons where inimical for me, the other, i don't know... Always tried for happy smiles and joined hands, where last i stood in the dark understanding that "forever" is a fabrication.

Still, they are my friends and never ever i changed that, awaiting for call.

The blind side which tied up beneath the shoes beholds the shattered story of us in the shade of misunderstanding. Once broken mirror cannot be used again,just like that. This burning in heart, you know like everything added to your life from then turned to ashes. But now i hold some hands which they really need me, till their wings grow to fly high, but,recently i just realized that kids grow fast☺

All these pages of life clustered in that night rain, feels like under the million stars I'm just one huge black hole. That moment, the rain appeared like dragged tresses of an absurd lady crying out loud, metamorphosis to loud laughter and scream...
All these time waited and tried just to make everything back to normal. But there is no space left void in  them just because I'm not there... But here reflects the thousand light rays of the broken mirror...

An insane smile draws on my face, just thinking 'i need to do something for people who needs me'
You can never be useless, at least you can be an example for useless ☺ (just kidding)
Even the dead clock shows the right time twice a day, There is chance, There is Hope.
   

Lone Rider

Once the kid was a lone rider, silent breaker, problem solution, fairy God who grand all the wishes, night walker, day dreamer, keeper of giggles and laughs, spreader of smiles and peaceful sigh...
But now, when the real world and real time opened the door for him, he just became a piece of junk there... avoided, ill treated, wasted, unheard, worst, and more over one in the deepest pit of life.. by days it immerse him down n down till his breath becomes air...
Everything once he was , sets with sun to the horizon... now everything he loves converges in that pit with shame...
He says himself "no longer a rider"

ഇക്കൊല്ലം ഓണം .

കാർമേഘം തിങ്ങിനിന്ന് സൂര്യപ്രകാശത്തെ അകലെ മറച്ച് ഊഷ്മാവിനെ അന്തരീക്ഷത്തിൽ എനിക്കുചുറ്റും ഒരു വലയം തീർത്ത് ,മൗനത്തിൻ്റെ അലർച്ച തിരയടിച്ച, രക്തചുവപ്പ് നിറം കൊടുത്ത മുഖത്ത് കണ്ണ് പൊട്ടിയൊലിച്ച് , ശ്വാസം വെറും വായുമാത്രമാവുന്ന തരത്തിൽ മണ്ണിനോട് ചേർന്ന ആദ്യത്തെ ഓണനാളുകളാവും ഇത് ... ശലഭത്തിൻ്റെ ചിറക് അടുത്ത് കണ്ട ചുവന്ന കണ്ണുകളും വിറക്കുന്ന കൈകളും ഇനി ചിലപ്പോൾ ഉയർന്നെന്ന് വരില്ല ...
എന്തൊക്കെയോ നഷ്ടപ്പെടാൻ ഉണ്ട് എന്ന ഭയമായിരുന്നു ഇന്ന് വരെ ... എന്നാൽ അതൊരു പകൽ കിനാവു പോലെ പൊള്ളയാണ് എന്ന് ഒന്നൂടെ തെളിയിച്ചിരിക്കുകയാണ്.....

Crap 2015

? 2015 ?
I just wanted it to leave soon as possible... each day im counting on it..
I never wrote a review of an year on my wall till now.. all were hidden in the pages of ma dairy...
But about this year.. i need to say something..indeed yes...

In the measurement of bliss and sorrow,the part which contains the sorrows touch the ground and the bliss, very funny its weightless comparing...
From where do i start?
Ha ha ha ha... most funny things happened, and most weirdly...
Realisation and learning all through but seriously it was a hell round of play...
Lemme sketch some good memories ..

All over that i have the proper feeling of that we are not promised for tomorrow, even we know that but quarrels never ends...still i set the alarm for the next day..oooooo

I entered in to 2015 with a burden of weight sacked lie, which was purposefully made, reading the A class book of #psychology, cant stop laughing coZ it was the best part people cursed me. It helped me much to hold some hands, to see some open heart and to treat some well... As long as im concern i wanted to share the truth when the burning flame becomes blue. But before that happens My best buddy caught me and she got it all... and stood by me after kicking my butt. But the same case, before i was going to say the truth, Ma another best buddy directly flew the words to#bigEars..later passed to many... Thus mostly some people came with curse and some just muted themselves...
This is one of the major crime, i blv which i had done.. I just thought when i say this, and when i pass out many things as from my own experience, i could see revolution to the right path, grace of god- something good happened... And i just get to know some simple facts, like a lie can give urself and others a temporary pleasure , but if u forget to lock it at the right time with the reality and truth, it will spoil u for sure...
So i had just decided to track myself with truth. Hope it'll work well, Coz people who all walked in the path of truth well ,Shot to death and killed on the Cross. Lets give it a try.. So No more Lies.... :)
PS: Dont talk about this..ever..

My plus two exams was full of black humor, it was fun and thknking about the good old days tears coz i miss my schools a lot. The days i just spend there, ma teachers, friends, the compound, cutting classes, programs and so on.. i do remeber clearly me, Jyothish Os and Jishnu KP out the class just to draw on the wall, to welcome honorable Collector MS Jaya, Chilled and all the Paints, wax colours were bought by HSS teachers.. ha ha ...
Exam time, combine studies, sure shot questions ...And missing our dear principle #Samitha teacher, Physics #Jyothi teacher, English #Leenateacher, Maths #Shiji teacher, Malayalam #Sandhya teacher, and so on... missing them all and #Nandini teacher,SPC officer.. the richness of the villages... And few months back i just visited there to recollect my memories..
Golden Moments in there..

Was invited to India's Got Talent ,but my biology practical exam spoiled the trip..At the month of April, i was called to Indian Music League, got an opportunity to sing in front of the legends of music #KsChrithra meam,#VidyaSagar sir amd many other play back singers. A special thanks toFranco Seven (Mmde Franco chettan) for giving me the opportunity.. That was one of the best moment of ma life... And was so pleased to see the joy and bliss of ma family when i appeared in the TV., the class and the regards of that day just awesome...
Later #Goodwin program at tsr, made ma day, The gift from celebrities, sharing a stage with them... feels great...

Coming back to the reality of the life. I never thought i would become a huge #beruppikkal (just like ma buddy says) to some of ma best ones... The most Part of ma vacation,without a second thought i just spend with ma best buddies Prajeesh Kannan and Amal Nath...
I never knew i was going out of track from the other side of the life, but all i knew and all i just wanted the bliss in all. I just thought ...and... i never knew all the things which i was going through was turning everything upside down in some other places... i tried my best to maintain the equilibrium, but the other hand my friend was having such a pressure, CoZ im his friend...
Just because of ami, i got to know many other people, the happy family which i love to call im a part of it... No more... Coz i love to call that family is happy without my presence, :) in 2016, im surely not going to hurt and bother them again to disturb the atmospheric equilibrium which presently adjust itself to nullify the effects... The time we spend together chatting and scolding and can't miss the ridings..
And a heavy day which i got the actual reality of psychosis and the various forms of it, dangerously effective,some how learned to control and gather in hands. 21st Century is serious effected by this problems far from the 19-20 th centuries social activities...
I do need to thank them again and again for giving such a blast on my 18th b'day.
Thank u Savio Antony Manjooran big bro,Deepa Deepz,Jitheesh Jayachandran,Geethu K Subhash#balu,Kajal Thoombayil..(sorry if i miss anyone)
U were such a good team of brothers and sisters. Miss u guys.. And special thanks for ma bff #praji n #amal, Sandra Manikandan,Akhilendhu Achu.
And the frnds who made those vacation moved, Akshay Sivadas, Akshay P Narayanan, Rahul Das,Antony Bastin, Ebel Joy, Vishnu Jayachandran,Jaya Krishnan,Hari Krishnan T,Vishnu Aj,Gervasis Manuel, Sreesan Sree, and long wild chain...
PS: The statuses which i share was not all about you brothers, its all a part of literature effect and take it in the right sense :)
I love my friends and those beautiful families i can still have some chillness in ma breath... Even knowing and unknowing an outcast me was such a heavy stone veil. Not anymore...Coz its 2016...
I am so sorry that i made my friend to say that 'im worth for nothing'...just a useless pice of junk....and my brother calls out my statuses ****ing bad...and about the wings too ;) ...
I miss the best and Good old days...so badly... still its in 2015.

There were many b'days passed in this year... where i could be a part of some,
#praji's and #Amal's which i always wanted to be there, Sephy Cheppu's's bday a surprise @ night, Femi Joyson 's 's mom,another surprise but more for me, Again Flemin Panakkal 's bday i spoiled it and i feels sorry for that, coz i just went out for no reason (restricted area) from his treat, But hit back in shot at his home ;)

Prize winning moments, #jithu in kalolsavams, Remya Ramachandranfighting against dowry , getting in touch with many artists, and other platforms for me for eneterly out of my range activities... back to #DB(special thanks for principle Geo Joseph )
News papers and All India Radio and Tv..
31st dec 2015- Recording in Palakkad wirh music director #Vinod. The last day of the year was such a way no waste of time...

Marriage of many, Neethu Krishnan, Divya P Krishnan, and many more... Sorry if missed any... Thank u all..

And Lemme take this opportunity to thank almighty for giving me my brothers and sisters ... especially ViJu VaLsan,#shilpu , #flemin, #femi,#maalu, #bubboo, #adi ,#kunjeeth,#abhi ,#achooi, and s so on.....
And to know many other people friends of friends like Elson Chalissery,Elson Christopher, David Zen, #jeremia, #john , and that group, so on... and people i know but no direct mingling..

Lemme thank all the talented people i met and my teachers , My Guru Thrissur #Ramakrishnan master, #jaison sir,..
and from there ma batch mates Thomas Francis, Ashwn Raju ThaikkadanSiYad Koker , Sivanand Anandhu and many..

Entering the college was such a blast even though it was not my cup of tea, im not adjusting with it well..
My class hand full of buddies especially Arundhati Raaj,Harikrishnan Ajaykumar,Vishnu Mk,Ånanthu JP and so.on...guys of ma classs u a the best to me ;)
Special thanks to ma teachers and Seniors Ashna Hussain,Ashna Asok,Anjali Suresh,Derin David,David Babyo,Bini Bini Ambooken and many blasters , <3

Atul Prabhakar,Premesh Mannuthikkal,Pranav Narasila, ShaRon N S Sharu,Umesh Mannuthikkal ,Balesh Mannuthikkal for the good moments.. especially the album shootings..

Thank u for the Hospitals which i was taken to and the doctors and nurses who took care...and i'll never miss u #ecg machine and nebulisation @ casulalities of Westfort n Daya...

Sarath Mannadiyar, Sanjay Sreedharan,Christy Thomas, #kinnan... being with me in this long journey..

Sajith Ks, Rejoy James Rj, #vishnu, #sandy, for sharing emotions with me..

THE MOST PAINFUL PART IS THAT THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM I HAD THE BEST MOMENTS IN 2015 WONT BE A PART OF BLISS IN 2016.... not my choice, but this the only option they gave me... still u have only heartfull of love ..
I have learned ,It is the misunderstandings plays the role of a villain, the way they accept,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

And I realised some truths that our nation still in the black hands of bloody cast creed system which unconsciously acting in ones mind, many like that,...still the english ghosts are around us, Many fake loves, show offs, people trying to do something but not valid, education system, political system, media,
Inequality...and so on.. i dare, hard to find true friends... Any how,. Its all can be changed or just hoping for something better... once bitter twice the shy... another question -who kicked the cat-?

;)

<3 a huge hugs to ma Family for not letting me to built my own tomb.

And love u all who took the best part of my life.....
And prayers for everyone...

A lots of sorries and a bunch of thanks to all............
And love u all, again a huge hands of support who needs...

Hoping a better year 2016, apart from the whole lost and depression stuffs...
Love ya all...
Let the sun rise at the pole...

The Wings

To set you free from cage
It took half of my age
The spell reached to your wings
And for that I sings

They shed all the weight
And let your wings to height
Now you're free to fly
I'll watch you go high 😊

The chain that you connected
Making the heart wounded

I care only you smile
Even I hide my tears in smile,

Fly my friends,fly
I'm no longer a veil in your sky

The tall one will shed and lead
The bright one will fill ahead
The thin one will bright light
And you all are the elder height

Younger value heart, will success
Big ears will let you hear more on less
My boy need to make his heart bright
And his elder will shelter light

How can I stop without saying the power?
Splitting up is a choice, a rain shower
Even when the lonely hunts
You rescue and stunts

The one with conscious heart of listening
You need to be home early evening

The last two who are unfamiliar
Will lead on with their choice higher

You all have wings, so fly,
I'll be smiling watching you go high

I'll be also flying with you all
If I wasn't tied up to ground fall.

May be it'll be late sharing emotions,
Love,care,thankful,sorries my icons

And even the ocean is my ink
And sky my paper link
It wont be enough to express
How much I care you selfless 😊

Remember me when your wings heavy
I won't let you fall heavy
At least to catch you with heart
Even those wounds become scars in art.